Krombacher Pils

The reviews for boring beers should be short and to the point, right?  So to that end: Looks like apple juice with a nice head and lacing.  Smells like alcohol and hops.  Taste is straighforward hops, vague fruitiness, slight metallic from the can, and finishes with a bitterness that is almost acrid.

The Bottom Line:  You'll remember the cool tower logo a lot longer than you will the beer.

The Rating:  Eh.

Singha Lager Beer

I tried this pale lager by Boon Rawd Brewery in Bankock, Thailand, in a bottle at a local Thai restaurant.  It pours a clear golden yellow with an almost non-existent white head, giving off whiffs of corn and sweet malt.   Taste is clean and crisp, with sweetness and fruit that is almost wine-like, and accompanied by a prickly mouthfeel and a dry hops finish.

The Bottom Line: A little sweeter, pricklier, and more fruity than most American pales, but not bad with food.

The Rating: Not Bad

Garrison Martello Stout

Garrison Martello Stout is a thick, black and surly blending of bitter espresso, dark chocolate, and roasted malt.  Medium tan head lasts forever with nice lacing, while the beer itself is a murky black.  Aroma is of chocolate and coffee.

The Bottom Line:  On the dry and bitter side, but still good.

The Rating:  Not Bad.

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil

Pours out a thick, murky black with no head or lacing to speak of.  Aroma is rich and hints of bitter-sweet chocolate and roasted malt.  More layers of chocolate, coffee, roast, malt, smoke, and bitterness greet the palate, accompanied by a slight prickle of carbonation.

The Bottom Line: This is viscous black liquid love.

The Rating: Legendary.

Samuel Smith's Imperial Stout

This beer is an indescribable experience like no other.  It's a cool summer midnight in your glass, rich and dark and alive and yet understated and refined.

It pours an oily black with a rich khaki head.  Aroma is a complicated palate of yeast, chocolate, bread, raisin, and light caramel.  Fruit and yeast greet your tastebuds, followed quietly by chocolate that isn't sweet, roasted coffee and malt, and a mild burst of alcohol.  There's a depth of flavor here that is both mysterious and comforting, strange and yet so hauntingly familiar.  It finishes bitter and a little dry and slightly sour, but refreshingly and invitingly so.

This was my first imperial, so it may be that I don't yet know what I'm talking about... but.  If this beer really is an example of the imperial style, then I am, without a doubt, an Empire man.

The Bottom Line: I think I've got something in my eye... *Sniffle*

The Rating: Legendary.

Hockley Valley Black and Tan

A "Black and Tan" is blend of pale ale and dark beer, often poured in such a way as to create a layered effect.  In some cases, the two are simply mixed together.  When a pale lager is substituted for the ale, it's called "Half and Half".

In this case, it's a blending of Hockley Stout and a specially-brewed ale to stand in as the "tan".  This delightful brew pours out a rich dark mahogany with a creamy tan head that gently exudes the aromas of smoke, coffee, chocolate, and sweet malt.  The taste is a subtle explosion of sorts, bursting with all of the aforementioned presences with breathtaking richness and harmony that takes one's breath away.

The Bottom Line: I ran out of this liquid awesomeness last night, slurped the last precious drops from the bottom of my glass, and *may* have tried to lick the Hockley Valley website.

The Rating: Good Stuff.

Holsten Festbock

I like the contrast of light and dark, so I grabbed this dunkler bock from Holsten Brauerei last night to pair with my Hockley Valley brown ale.

Holsten has been brewing since the mid nineteen hundreds, and it shows in this classic bock.  Clear and coppery in color, it spouts an odd, fizzy, soda-like head that dissipates quickly and disappointingly without leaving a ghost of a trace behind save for the occasional prickly bubble.   It's pleasantly nutty and malty on the nose, exciting the imagination with visions of a crackling hearth, a soft chair, and quiet conversation.

The taste was surprising in it's sweetness, and even more so in how well it works.  Starting off slightly bitter, the flavor flowers into buttery caramel, roasted malt, and a rounded sweetness that finishes smoothly.

The Bottom Line: A good choice for sipping by a fire with good friends.

The Rating: Not Bad.